terrible f***ing race

just terrible. i didn't race at all. instead of going after it and just racing, i worried about going out too fast and feeling pain, sat in the back and faded to a fucking shitty 5:05.74. wtf. i completely abandoned everything i was focusing on doing and just pussied out like a little bitch. i was so pissed afterwards.

positives of race:
-now i know not to bitch out next time and fucking grow some balls
-even though i pussied out i still ran 5:05.74, which is basically my pb
-friggly & stefan ran huge pbs of 4:53 & tai ran 4:51, which is the fastest he's run since his pb of 4:46

one more chance on the 28th or 29th....i am going fucking apeshit

no time goals, no place goals, just fucking racing the shit out of myself